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Post by joethenuts on Jul 25, 2017 0:51:45 GMT
TODAYS JOKE IN THE PAPER .
chap says to his mate while drinking in a bar , look at those 2 over there, that will be us in 10 years, the other chap said thats a mirror you idiot....
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Post by joethenuts on Jul 25, 2017 1:54:16 GMT
A PUZZLE 3 men go to buy a car together , the car was $27 so each chap put in a $10 note each. so the car saleasman went to get the the change , when he got the inside he realised the car was reduced to only $25 . so the salesman got 5 x $1 coins out of thy till to give to the buyers , but the saleasman said to himself i will keep $2 and give the chap back $3 as all they know was the car was $27.
so the puzzel is how much did each chap pay for the car and how much did the salesman put in his pocket. the chaps paid 3 x $9 =$27 the salesman got $2 in his pocket thats $29 wheres the other $1 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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Post by joethenuts on Jul 25, 2017 1:59:41 GMT
THERE was a pond it was complete round 5 meters from 1 end to the other end complete 5 meter round pond.
dead in the middle of the pond to the inch on a rock was a frog , this frog could jump 1 meter at a time ,
how many jumps would it take the frog to get out of the pond .
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Post by joethenuts on Jul 25, 2017 2:07:57 GMT
joe goes to the doctor and says doctor i keep seeing double , doctor says i am busy at the moment just take a seat on the couch. and joe says which one.
one day joe rings his home and the maid answered it, joe says where is my wife , the maid says she is in the bedroom with the gardener, so joe asks the maid to see what they are doing, so the maid comes back and says to joe they are having sex. so joe says to the maid go to my office and in the top draw of my desk is a gun , get the gun and kill my wife and the gardener,
she goes it and joe tells her to carry them to the window and drop them of the building , then lift them to the gate so i van get them into the van.
anyway the maid comes back to the phone and says i got them out of the window , but they are too heavy to get out of the pool. Joe says [pool] is this 04356.4567
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Post by DADDY O on Jul 25, 2017 14:24:17 GMT
A PUZZLE 3 men go to buy a car together , the car was $27 so each chap put in a $10 note each. so the car saleasman went to get the the change , when he got the inside he realised the car was reduced to only $25 . so the salesman got 5 x $1 coins out of thy till to give to the buyers , but the saleasman said to himself i will keep $2 and give the chap back $3 as all they know was the car was $27. so the puzzel is how much did each chap pay for the car and how much did the salesman put in his pocket. the chaps paid 3 x $9 =$27 the salesman got $2 in his pocket thats $29 wheres the other $1 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm There is no "other dollar". This is a deceptively worded puzzle. The joke mixes the sale price with the cash spent. The salesman took in $30 and gave $3 back paying $27, not $28.....hence, no "other dollar". |
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Post by sherri on Jul 25, 2017 14:30:05 GMT
Some good ones in there, Joe.  |
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Post by joethenuts on Jul 26, 2017 1:54:57 GMT
you are correct daddy but if you ask enough people , there answere is they dropped the $1 or it fell out of his pocket.
now how many jumps did the frog take to get out of the pond.
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Post by sherri on Jul 26, 2017 3:14:27 GMT
The frog might swim out. Too much chlorine wouldn't do him any good though.
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Post by DADDY O on Jul 26, 2017 7:38:50 GMT
you are correct daddy but if you ask enough people , there answere is they dropped the $1 or it fell out of his pocket. now how many jumps did the frog take to get out of the pond. One jump........his last one........but on the other hand....if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass.......or would he? |
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Post by DADDY O on Jul 26, 2017 7:44:13 GMT
The frog might swim out. Too much chlorine wouldn't do him any good though. I can't tell you how many times I have fished out BOFO Toads from the skimmer on the pool. I made the mistake of showing my granddaughters the Frogs, and they wouldn't go in the water for three days. Now I do it early in the morning. The frogs are usually dead by the time I get to them. It's the salt, not the chlorine that get's them. |
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Post by joethenuts on Jul 26, 2017 8:30:53 GMT
mmmmm the answere is none the frog was dead in the middle mmmmmm
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Post by DADDY O on Jul 26, 2017 10:59:19 GMT
True Joe.......dead toads don't jump much.
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Post by joethenuts on Jul 29, 2017 7:31:00 GMT
when there are 2 meanings to a word .
one day a nun was having a bath , when there was a knock on the door , the nun calles out who is it , and a voice says its the blind man,
so the nun thinks for a second and says come on in , then the man says nice tits where do you want me to hang the blind.mmmmmm
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Post by sherri on Jul 29, 2017 7:39:43 GMT
Another joke about word confusion.
I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection.
The husband called out to his wife
in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but
it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”
PS Wonder what's happened to daddyo? He's usually around most days.
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Post by joethenuts on Jul 29, 2017 8:55:10 GMT
i hope it was not daddyo the 3rd chap. the bloke at the death row place.. you see there was 3 chaps ready to be shot by rifles ordered by the judge. 1 at a time a chap was asked do you have anything to say he said [earth quake ] and everybody ran and he escaped. they asked the second chap do you have anything to say , and the chap said [tornado] and everyone ran and he escaped . then they asked the third chap and he thought about the other 2 escaping and yelled out [fire]
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